What? Gravity doesn't exist now??
Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory
KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling."Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.
Burdett added: "Gravity—which is taught to our children as a law—is founded on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force. Isaac Newton himself said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force for which philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.' Of course, he is alluding to a higher power."
Founded in 1987, the ECFR is the world's leading institution of evangelical physics, a branch of physics based on literal interpretation of the Bible.
According to the ECFR paper published simultaneously this week in the International Journal Of Science and the adolescent magazine God's Word For Teens!, there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise.
Source: The Onion
Technorati Tags: Evangelical, intelligent design
6 Comments:
At 10/22/2005 12:53 PM, fgdfgdfgdf said…
thats so ridiculous....the entire concept is. i know my opinion can easily be fought over, but couldnt the scientists argument be that maybe god caused everything to happen this way? the whole evolution and gravity thing...ive always had the concept that if a so called supreme being chooses to do something, he/she doesnt have to work at it. i mean, its GOD were talking about....if you get my point
At 10/22/2005 9:32 PM, x said…
LOL...
yeah, I don't think this story is actually true.. The Onion is more of a humour source than news.
But if it is, then that's very sad indeed. Anyone know more about the Onion?
At 10/23/2005 4:09 AM, Roba said…
"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett
LOLLLLLL! That's absurd.
At 10/23/2005 3:49 PM, Linda said…
you guys know the oinion is a fake newspaper, right? for laughs? im sure some radical envangilists probably believe this but this is a made up story.
it is my dream to create a fake newspaper one day! who wants to join me?
At 10/24/2005 7:32 AM, Sharks said…
lool...it good to know it's not just our religion men :D...i know some group who still thinks that the earth is flat n' it's the sun witch goes around the earth...they r only making fun of them selves...Good one Omar!...
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