Living a Contradiction

Fairouz greets me every morning from my car speakers with her soft, familiar, and highly nostalgic voice. As I listen to her songs in the car I start reminiscing on the times we lived in Homs. I remember how my dad always had the radio turned up every morning to Fairouz, how I used to hear her voice on a cold winter day in Damascus before going to school, how happy it made me feel every time I got in a taxi in the morning with Fairouz playing on every radio station.

I can’t help but notice that as time passes I am becoming more nostalgic and attached to Syria. I was inclined to think, as I have witnessed in others, that as time passes one would begin to become more accustomed to being away. The feeling of belonging I thought would wane with time, but this hasn’t been the case. I prefer to hear news in Arabic, my iPod is filled with Middle Eastern music, and Nizar Qabbani’s words speak to me in a way that I can’t describe.

Sometimes I can’t help but confess that I live a contradiction. I like the culture, familiarity, and feel of Syria, and at the same time I enjoy the convenience, and the opportunities that are available here. As I drive through beautiful cities like Montreal and Toronto, I always find myself wondering why we can’t have a subway, why can’t we have decent roads, why are we not manufacturing?

I would love to apply my education to help Syria out, and I look forward to the day the economy opens up and foreign investments begin to pour in. Reading posts on FW: gives me hope, and something to daydream about, Breakfast At Mora’s pulled the thoughts out of my mind and showed me that I’m not alone. Perhaps the only way to cure the contradiction is by bringing the best of both worlds together, maybe it’s easier said than done, but one can at least dream.