Gym Observations and New Year's Resolution

I see this trend every year at the gym. Right after Januray 1st, the gym experiences a large influx of new members with new hope and new goals. This effect is commonly known as New Year’s Resolution. People want to lose weight, so they wait for the new year to come so they can get their gym membership and start exercising.

I am personally irritated by this sudden swelling in gym membership. The gym turns into a zoo with people sometimes waiting to use certain machines, mainly because the new comers don’t know what they’re doing. For example, today there were two women, each sitting on a bench, talking to each other about work and the kids. Meanwhile there are a few of us waiting for them to finish they’re sweat-braking conversation.

That being said, there’s light at the end of tunnel. By February, or March at the latest, most of these new comers would have given up on their resolution, and just settled to watching TV at home. After all next year is a new beginning!

Another common trend at the gym is the buffing up that takes place, before a basketball game. Sadly, there’s no light at the end of the tunnel for that one. This trend can be observed all year long. Let me explain…

A bunch of “kool” kids wearing XXXL basketball jerseys, and shorts that go well below their knees, come in to the weight room to pump up their muscles before the game. These kids (ranging in age from 15-20) try to show off by lifting the highest weights possible without letting out some gas. After a whopping two repetitions they take about 10 minutes to observe the instantaneous growth of their muscles in the mirror. These observations are usually accompanied with phrases such as “Oh shit guy! That’s large” *snap snap*

Then there are those who think the gym is a night club. These guys usually come in a pack of 6, wearing tight spandex shirts and jeans and featuring slicked back hair. On some occasions they wear “army clothes,” cause we all know chicks dig fake soldiers. Unlike the kool basketball kids, these clubbers actually lift enough weights to cause flatulence, or maybe it’s just body odours.

Last but not least, are the wannabe professional weight lifters. These guys come dressed in big sweaters, they go nuts lifting huge weights, and once their muscles are big enough to be flaunted they take off the sweaters to reveal an XS “wife beater” (shal7a). To justify their existence and to attract chicks, these guys tend to throws the weights on the floor when their done. I think the loud noise created by the weights is some sort of mating call. The loud CLANK translates to “me lift weight, me want sexual.” They then conclude their mating call with a long sip of their favourite protein shake.

And some people ask me why I go to the gym! It’s a prefect source of entertainment and it’s healthy. Where else can you such a wide range of personalities?

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