Setting the Record Straight

When there’s nothing good on TV sometimes there’s no choice but to watch crap, and last Sunday was no different. I happened to flick past Discovery and notice the Guinness Book of Records show on. So I decided to watch it, hoping for some cool records to be broken, but as usual Sunday television had to dissapoint. One of the records that was set in the episode was “Most worms eaten in x number of minutes.” So I thought to my self, how’s that a good record? Can we take just about anything and make a record out of it?

I can understand things like “world’s highest base jump,” or “world’s fastest man” but most worms eaten?!?!?! Of course eating worms is not the only useless record that the show has hosted. I’ve seen people eat hot dogs, jars of mayonnaise, spiders, and even glass! Is it really that impressive being a fat ass?

And then there are these records that are soooo specific. Something like “longest interval of time spent on a red hang glider at night” or “longest football throw thrown by a guy on skates” Maybe I’m exaggerating here, but you know what I mean..

So these records got me thinking, if people enjoy watching others eat spiders then why haven’t these been attempted yet:

Fart related

a) longest continuous fart

b) loudest fart

c) deepest note hit with a fart

Booger related:

d) biggest booger taken out of someone’s nose

e) largest mass of snot sniffed out in one breath

yeah yeah, I know what you’re saying now “that’s nasty,” but come on here, do you really think that these suggestions are any more disgusting that eating worms by the handful?

P.S anyone notice the cheesy pun? huh? huh?

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