Music Critique numero Uno

Here’s my latest critique about music currently on the radio.. To understand the critique you have to watch MTV for at least a week.

1. Remixes

Why does the singer, or his buddy always have to remind us DURING THE SONG, that “this is the remix”

I was listening to this one song and the one dude was saying “YO! This is the remix” every other second. In another song you hear “Reeeeeeemiiiix” at least ten times in the duration of the song.
We know it’s a damn remix, we can hear the difference between the original, and this crappy song. Please don’t remind me that it’s a remix

2. 50 cent, aka Fitty cent (pictured above)
Ok, so if I had any respect for rappers, it’s gone now. The dude raps slower than me talking at 5 am. Does he even have a talent? Here’s an example of 50’s slow rhymes

“Rotate that thang, I wanna touch that thang
Can you make it go round and round
I step up in the club, I'm like who you with
G-Unit in the house, yeah that’s my clique” <---what the hell is he talking about

That doesn’t even rhyme… So Fitty officially has no talent. But he’s a tough guy, he took nine bullets in his body and he’s still doing fine.........or maybe not.

3. Black Eyed Peas (Peace?), very good band, good music, but sometimes I’m just like “why?”
They’re latest song is called “Don’t Funk with My Heart”
So as you probably could tell, funk sounds a lot like ... especially when said quickly in a song. What’s cool about swearing in a song? I guess nothing, since the BEP tricked us all by saying Funk. . . ohhhh got me on that one BEP, keep up the good work.

And as a little note to Ciara who had the big hit “My goodies”
Ciera, no one wants your goodies, or even see you or hear you talk about them. In fact first time I even heard My Goodies, the goodies in my stomach decided to migrate to the living room floor...

More critiques will pop onto the blog randomly in the future..


BEP

Ciara (remeber this photo has been touched and retouched in Photoshop)