Music Critique numero due

Ok, I can’t hold it in anymore, it’s time for another critique

I will start off with Snoop Dogg’s latest fight. During his most recent concert Snoop called a fan on stage. When the fan got on the stage, Snoop and his posse started wailing on the fan, meanwhile members of the posse stole the fan’s cell and credit card…how classy.

To me that’s the perfect example that money can’t buy you class. I’m not sure if Snoop and his group were trying to show their “gangsta” side, but whatever it was, it was dumb.

A note to rappers: would you please start rapping about things other than sex, cars, and money? By the way money, cars, and sex is also not acceptable.

Which brings me to every rap video EVER. Do these rappers have any skills, or rather imagination. Maybe it’s just me, but does every rap video has the same elements listed below?

1) chicks shaking their ass violently, as if they are being electrocuted
2) Cars that normally look good, if it wasn’t for the 20000 inch chrome rims
3) Ice <- please refer to future lingo posting for explanation
4) Lots of guys attending a house party, usually accompanied by slutty looking girls, who are being showered by bills, or champagne
5) Guys pouring Crystal on the floor to prove how much money they have (crystal is the champagne of champagnes, costing about $5000 / bottle)
6) Cars that are too pimped, best example is the stupid TV screens in the headrests IN THE BACK SEAT. One rapper commented “This is for the people driving behind me..hahaha” Funny guy....funny guy

I will now move on to LL Cool J. Dude, what’s up with the name? It’s gay, seriously. Let me guess what the two L’s stand for … oh I got it
Loser and Lick
You might be wondering now…Lick????
Let me explain, better yet, go see one of his videos. The guy licks his lips every two seconds, does he think it’s sexy or something?? What do the girls think?
In fact my sister and I counted once how many time the guy licks his lips, in that particular video, we saw 26 licks (during a 4 minute video) that is 6.5 licks a minute.. Why don’t they just hose the LL’s lips with water if they are that dry?
By the way one my favourite LL rhymes is the celeverly put together "Paradise is very nice"... No shit LL, thanks for letting me know, and for using the word nice.

Ohh I got so much to say with so little time, I will lastly comment about Usher.
Does he have to show us his abs in every damn video?
Seirously, the guy, in every video, slowly starts lifting shirt, making slow but steady progress in showing us his abs..

Dude, so you got a six pack, so what? I know a ton of people who also have great abs, but they don’t flaunt them..
Keep it on Usher, for the love of God keep it ON!


A picture says a thousand words

When he's not licking them he's touching them - LL Cool J